Tuesday, September 28, 2010

☆♥*♥☆Predicting Marital Satisfaction☆♥*♥☆

by Lorraine Valente

Infidelity is on the rise and is, according to statistics, becoming more common among people under age 30. Many experts believe this increase in cheating is due to greater opportunity (time spent away from a partner) and young people developing the habit of having multiple sexual partners before they marry (Wall Street Journal). Between 1991 and 2006, the numbers of unfaithful wives under 30 increased by 20% and husbands by a whopping 45%. These numbers come from a study conducted by David Atkins of the University of Washington Center for the Study of Health and Risk Behaviors.

As astrologers, we're aware that between the ages of 29-30 (In some instances 28), we experience the Saturn return.  It takes approximately 29 plus years for transiting Saturn to move 360 degrees around the chart to form a conjunction with natal Saturn. In my experience, with today's values and transitory career options, individuals who marry before the Saturn return tend to choose a partner based upon a family of origin imprints and expectations.  There is less likelihood of marrying an individual mom or dad opposes, for whatever reason.  It could be that your selection doesn't meet their religious, socioeconomic status, age or career aspirations. When a person marries or chooses a partner after the Saturn return, they are more likely to choose a partner who meets their own image of who's right for them paying less attention to parental value imprints, that may or may not work for them.  After the Saturn return, individuals, males and females, better know what they want, what makes them happy, have completed some or all of their formal education, and have secured employment. In speaking with individuals who tied the knot before the Saturn return and are still together after it, concur 90% of the time.

The above statistics aren't surprising when discussing the under 30 population. Since younger generations are living at home and staying in school longer, they're also taking time to experiment with partners before settling down, and it makes sense to do so.  We learn how to be intimate with others, initially, through parental mirroring, then through trial and error experimentation.  When an individual knows what soothes their soul, makes them happy, they are better able to seek and recognize those desired qualities during partner selection, ideally, after the Saturn return.

Jeffry H. Larson, professor and chairman of the Family and Marriage Therapy Program at Brigham Young University, has developed what he calls "The Marriage Triangle," which highlights individual and couple traits and the family background and context that can help or hinder a current or future relationship. 

First, are the unhealthy factors that predict marital dissatisfaction. These are the three sides of the triangle:

Individual traits

1. High neurotic traits.
2. Anxiety.
3. Depression.
4. Impulsiveness.
5. Self-consciousness.
6. Vulnerability to stress.
7. Anger/hostility.
8. Dysfunctional beliefs. (If you enter marriage convinced that you live on different planets, or that you'll never understand each other, he says, you probably won't.)

Couple traits

1. Dissimilarity.
2. Short acquaintanceship.
3. Premarital sex (especially a lot of experience with many different partners).
4. Premarital pregnancy.
5. Cohabitation.
6. Poor communication and conflict-resolution skills.


1. Younger age.

2. Unhealthy family-of-origin experiences.

3. Parental divorce or chronic marital conflict.
4. Parental or friends' disapproval.
5. Pressure to marry.
6. Little education or career preparation.

He's also developed a list of healthy characteristics, and the leading factors that predict marital satisfaction:

Individual traits

1. High self-esteem.
2. Flexibility.
3. Assertiveness.
4. Sociability.

Couple traits

1. Similarity.
2. Long acquaintanceship.
3. Good communication skills.
4. Good conflict resolution skills/style.


1. Older age.
2. Healthy family-of-origin experiences.
3. Happy parental marriage.
4. Parental and friends' approval.
5. Significant education and career preparation.

He further states that if he had to choose one trait that would help the most in building a relationship it would be flexibility. That one thing can take care of a lot of potential problems. When two people come together wanting peace and to give to the other, it's a win-win situation.  When the mutual goal of a relationship is partnership, harmony and conciliation, happiness is inevitable.  The choice is yours.

If you want to learn more about this topic and others, schedule a phone, Skype, or e-mail consultation at Fuchsiastars@aol.comThank you, and have a wonderful day!

Lorraine Valente


Smart Marriages Archive, reproduced in the [Electronic version] of Divorce Statistics Collection.

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