☆♥*♥☆Families & Pets in Distress☆♥*♥☆ Part 1

Hi Everyone, ❤ 

In recent weeks, many people have contacted me about the subject of their pets.  Their inquiries were not about what they can do to care for their pets during economic or other perceived hardships, but how to find an animal shelter, or if I "knew anyone" who would take their beloved pets for "reasons beyond their control" for which no one would disclose.  The rationalizations and justifications for surrendering  a pet are rather sickening. We live in a disposable society and the mindset of so many is that "when the going gets tough, the tough gets going".  By that I mean that whatever people don't want to deal with, be responsible for, they simply discard, including living, breathing, sentient beings, our beloved fur babies.

=(^.^)=

The topic of "surrendering" a pet, is highly charged, at least for me. Animals are not disposable objects. They are not a piece of trash or garbage.  They are not a used paper cup. They are not the latest designer fad to be discarded and replaced tomorrow.  The are not objects to abuse and use.  They are living, breathing, feeling, and acutely sensitive beings with feelings of attachment to their owners.  Cats and dogs feel distress when separated from those they love and who are familiar to them.  They feel distress when separated from other animals they grew in proximity and are familiar with.  They feel depressed and anxious, yet recover, from a physical move, when they are considered in that move, yet so many insensitive and selfish individuals leave their pets behind when they move; many dumped on the street, in the woods or in a box on a busy highway to fend for themselves.  Out of sight, out of mind is their mindset.  


Ignorance is bliss.  


Yet for that pet, one who has often only known the comfort of a warm home, a dish full of food, a cozy bed, and human contact, this abandonment is absolutely devastating. Dogs and cats become depressed and emotionally despondent.  They may be forced to succumb to environmental elements, cold, heat, and rain.  They are subjected to traffic, cars, unkind people, and wild animals. Their once healthy immune system becomes compromised, predisposing the pet to illness and disease. Many become sick, develop ear and eye infections, starve and die, even in a shelter or in the hands of a "High-Kill Shelter" that euthanizes pets on a weekly basis "to make room for more".  The types of shelters will be discussed in another part of this series.

=(^.^)=

It is my understanding that the average cat may live for up to 18-22 years while the average dog's lifespan is approximately 12 years (some breeds live as few as 6 years while other breeds may live to 15-20 years).  Some cats and dogs, like humans, are simply predisposed to live shorter lives. 


When an individual adopts a cute little kitten or puppy, they often do so on a whim or impulse with little understanding about the long term "commitment" and"responsibility"required.  Kittens are fun, little fur balls.  However, kittens grow  from kitten-hood into adulthood, just as an infant moves through toddler hood and through the school years.  Little puppies grow into larger dogs.  These developmental changes are natural, yet people who adopt kittens and puppies often lack the awareness that their responsibilities for that cute pet changes over time.

=(^.^)=

Adopting a cat or dog means taking those responsibilities seriously for the life of that pet, in sickness and in health.


How many animals enter animal shelters each year? And how many are euthanized?


"The Humane Society of the United States (HSUS) estimates that animal shelters care for 6-8 million dogs and cats every year in the United States, of whom approximately 3-4 million are euthanized. At this time, there is no central data reporting agency for animal shelters, so these numbers are estimates; however, the Asilomar Accords method is gaining momentum as a standard for more accurately tracking these numbers. Annual statistics for approximately 150 shelters across the country are posted at www.asilomaraccords.org. You can help them develop a more accurate picture of the problem by encouraging your local shelters to report their data."  ~ The Humane Society of United States


Why are so many pets surrendered to shelters, or worse, dumped in the street?

1. Physical move, relocation, and people leave their pets behind (this has become epidemic)
2. Suddenly Allergic (could be after several years)  
3. Doesn't want a pet anymore: can be for any reason imaginable
4. Too much work ie: inconvenience, responsibilities, annoyed with pet
5. Cost (to be discussed in greater detail below and in future blogs)
7. Marriage, new partner  (I use the LIFO method: last in~first out, easy :-)
8. Parents don't want anymore, used as punishment against child or child goes to college
9. Current spouse or boyfriend/girlfriend doesn't want or like
10. Hoarding situations
11. Death of a human caregiver
12. Lost and Found
13. Animals used in fights or as "bait" and rescued
14. Jealousy of pet by a new partner
15. Pet is sick: a cold, skin rash~rather than treat, they simply dispose of to become more ill.
16. Woman becomes pregnant, birth of a child. (Perhaps your parents should have disposed of YOU when your little brother/sister arrived on the scene!

=(^.^)=

Note:  The average cost to feed a dog is  approximately .67 cents/per day while the cost to feed a cat is only .44 cents/per day. While considering these costs, let's discuss the daily spending habits of many people, at least where I live. For comparison sake, the average woman spends between $20-50 every other week or twice a month on their nails (manicures/pedicures).  It costs less than $14/per month to feed a cat yet many will give up the cat because "they can't afford it" rather than give up the unnecessary manicure.  

=(^.^)=

What about the millions of cups of coffee purchased on the way to work at the local Starbucks or Dunkin' Donuts on a weekly basis? Most people spend approximately $2.00 for their morning cup of Java yet happily surrender their pet because of their "economic situation".  That daily cup of coffee ends up costing more than $10 per week and can feed a dog for 15 days.  

=(^.^)=

Shall we discuss the cost of a pack of cigarettes or a bottle of beer or alcoholic beverage?   I'll bet the same people hovering over the bar during "Happy Hour" each week are also moaning about the cost of feeding their pet, while feeding their addiction instead. Seriously folks, I'm not even going to go there.  Denial is a nice fuzzy warm blanket.

=(^.^)=

Later in this series, the reasons people surrender or abandon pets, as indicated above, will be expanded upon to provide insight and guidance into prevention.  I will also share cost effective methods for both feeding and caring for your pet. 

=(^.^)=

In the meantime, for those of you on Facebook, there are two Applications you may have interest in.  Save a Cat (SAC) and Save a Dog (SAD) offer photos of pets around the United States and Canada who have been surrendered to various shelters.  Each pet is photographed with the date of surrender, their age and name (if known), breed and location.  With every click on a photo, points are offered and accumulated.  The collection of points goes towards feeding shelter animals, veterinarian care, and finding foster or forever homes.  With each click, that individual cat/dog receives attention.  The more attention drawn towards each cat or dog, the more likely it will find a person to adopt it.  Attention also PREVENTS killing.  Please click to feed and save a life:  


Save a Cat: https://apps.facebook.com/save-a-cat/


Save a Dog: https://apps.facebook.com/save-a-dog/


For fellow bloggers, there are widgets you can place on your blog to draw attention to pets in need.  


This is the Save a Cat widget that has already been added to the side of my blog:

Lastly, I am grateful for all the new rescue friends, both men and women, who devote time on a daily basis to saving cats and dogs on Facebook.  The work they all do is phenomenal, and it is because of them the devastated  lives of these saddened pets are improved and even saved.  Namaste'  ❤   


Please share your own rescue stories.If you are aware of an animal in need please share that so that help may be located for that pet .Remember to give to those less fortunate. If you see a stray animal needing food, water or care, please help those who are unable to help themselves. One day it may be you who requires care. If you want to learn more about Save a Cat or Save a Dog e-mail at Fuchsiastars@aol.com. This blog is linked through Networked Blogs and may also be received directly to your Facebook page. 


Follow us on Facebook: Fuchsiastars@groups.facebook.com.


Thank you, and have a wonderful day! ♥*♥

Lorraine
FuchsiaStars@aol.com
www.FuchsiaStars.com
www.KarmicAstrology.info
http://energyhealing4u.webs.com/
http://twitter.com/FuchsiaStars
http://FuchsiaStars.blogspot.com/

© All rights reserved. Opinions and interpretation/analysis expressed are the sole intellectual property of Lorraine Valente and FuchsiaStars® Guidance. Permission is required to copy, emulate, or electronically broadcast any portion of this article, blog, or website(s). Copyright, credits, and above information must be included in all copying and forwarding in its entirety pointing back to this blog. FuchsiaStars® interpretations are for research and entertainment purposes only.

☆♥*♥☆Predicting Marital Satisfaction☆♥*♥☆

by Lorraine Valente

Infidelity is on the rise and is, according to statistics, becoming more common among people under age 30. Many experts believe this increase in cheating is due to greater opportunity (time spent away from a partner) and young people developing the habit of having multiple sexual partners before they marry (Wall Street Journal). Between 1991 and 2006, the numbers of unfaithful wives under 30 increased by 20% and husbands by a whopping 45%. These numbers come from a study conducted by David Atkins of the University of Washington Center for the Study of Health and Risk Behaviors.

As astrologers, we're aware that between the ages of 29-30 (In some instances 28), we experience the Saturn return.  It takes approximately 29 plus years for transiting Saturn to move 360 degrees around the chart to form a conjunction with natal Saturn. In my experience, with today's values and transitory career options, individuals who marry before the Saturn return tend to choose a partner based upon a family of origin imprints and expectations.  There is less likelihood of marrying an individual mom or dad opposes, for whatever reason.  It could be that your selection doesn't meet their religious, socioeconomic status, age or career aspirations. When a person marries or chooses a partner after the Saturn return, they are more likely to choose a partner who meets their own image of who's right for them paying less attention to parental value imprints, that may or may not work for them.  After the Saturn return, individuals, males and females, better know what they want, what makes them happy, have completed some or all of their formal education, and have secured employment. In speaking with individuals who tied the knot before the Saturn return and are still together after it, concur 90% of the time.

The above statistics aren't surprising when discussing the under 30 population. Since younger generations are living at home and staying in school longer, they're also taking time to experiment with partners before settling down, and it makes sense to do so.  We learn how to be intimate with others, initially, through parental mirroring, then through trial and error experimentation.  When an individual knows what soothes their soul, makes them happy, they are better able to seek and recognize those desired qualities during partner selection, ideally, after the Saturn return.

Jeffry H. Larson, professor and chairman of the Family and Marriage Therapy Program at Brigham Young University, has developed what he calls "The Marriage Triangle," which highlights individual and couple traits and the family background and context that can help or hinder a current or future relationship. 

First, are the unhealthy factors that predict marital dissatisfaction. These are the three sides of the triangle:

Individual traits


1. High neurotic traits.
2. Anxiety.
3. Depression.
4. Impulsiveness.
5. Self-consciousness.
6. Vulnerability to stress.
7. Anger/hostility.
8. Dysfunctional beliefs. (If you enter marriage convinced that you live on different planets, or that you'll never understand each other, he says, you probably won't.)


Couple traits


1. Dissimilarity.
2. Short acquaintanceship.
3. Premarital sex (especially a lot of experience with many different partners).
4. Premarital pregnancy.
5. Cohabitation.
6. Poor communication and conflict-resolution skills.

Context



1. Younger age.

2. Unhealthy family-of-origin experiences.

3. Parental divorce or chronic marital conflict.
4. Parental or friends' disapproval.
5. Pressure to marry.
6. Little education or career preparation.

He's also developed a list of healthy characteristics, and the leading factors that predict marital satisfaction:


Individual traits


1. High self-esteem.
2. Flexibility.
3. Assertiveness.
4. Sociability.

Couple traits

1. Similarity.
2. Long acquaintanceship.
3. Good communication skills.
4. Good conflict resolution skills/style.


Context

1. Older age.
2. Healthy family-of-origin experiences.
3. Happy parental marriage.
4. Parental and friends' approval.
5. Significant education and career preparation.

He further states that if he had to choose one trait that would help the most in building a relationship it would be flexibility. That one thing can take care of a lot of potential problems. When two people come together wanting peace and to give to the other, it's a win-win situation.  When the mutual goal of a relationship is partnership, harmony and conciliation, happiness is inevitable.  The choice is yours.

If you want to learn more about this topic and others, schedule a phone, Skype, or e-mail consultation at Fuchsiastars@aol.comThank you, and have a wonderful day!

Lorraine Valente
FuchsiaStars@aol.com
http://www.fuchsiastars.com/
http://www.karmicastrology.info/
http://twitter.com/FuchsiaStars
http://FuchsiaStars.blogspot.com/

Reference

Smart Marriages Archive, reproduced in the [Electronic version] of Divorce Statistics Collection.

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☆♥*♥☆ Co-dependence~Relationships ☆♥*♥☆

by Lorraine Valente

We're quickly approaching the entrance of the Sun into Libra, at the same time both Mars and Venus are in passionate Scorpio. Libra is the sign most associated with relationships and Venus is Libra's ruler and she is transiting a sign (Scorpio) ruled by fiery Mars also in the sign of powerful Scorpio. Libra's often have difficulty selecting a partner because they seek an ideal of how relationships should be that doesn't often match reality. Disillusionment sets in as a result of unrealistic expectations causing an inability to fully commit. Alternately, when actually in a committed relationship, Libra may exhibit one or many co-dependent traits.

What is co-dependence? 

It may be stated that co-dependence is a form of conformity, to another's wishes. It appears consistent within family dynamics in which addiction or emotional abuse occurs in one or more family members. Co-dependence is a dysfunctional process and learned set of behaviors associated with either living with or choosing to be in close proximity to any dysfunctional individual.

Co-dependence is a major manifestation of the adult child syndrome; a child having grown up in a troubled, unhealthy, or dysfunctional family where family members are completely enmeshed in each other's lives. Being enmeshed allows the controlling and more dominant individual complete control over the codependent one. Being in love, in this instance, means being in control. According to Charles Whitfield (1991), co-dependence is characterized by 12 character traits.

1. It is  learned and acquired.
2. It is developmental; a failure to develop, arrested development.
3. It's outer focused.
4. It's a disease of lost self hood.
5. It has personal boundary distortions.
6. It is a "feeling" disorder manifested by low self-esteem, fear, shame, anger, confusion, and numbness.
7. It produces unhealthy dependence on others by not trusting, withholding, manipulating, exploitative, and controlling.
8. Relationship difficulties with self and others.
9. It's primary.
10. It's chronic and progressive,
11. It is malignant and treatable.
12. Excludes a Higher Power.

Characteristics of co-dependency are as follows:

Co-dependent individuals are likely to hook up with a Narcissistic partner who runs the show for both of them. This attachment style is likely to have been learned from behaviors mirrored to the child via the family of origin. The dominant individual manipulates the other to keep him/her attached to the relationship. This dynamic is prevalent in incidences of domestic violence, where the passive, co-dependent individual becomes an emotional punching bag playing peace-maker to ward off the abuser. However, the passive individual, consciously or unconsciously, instigates a reaction so the cycle continues and they maintain their victim status. There's a huge payoff for the victim; attention, concern, favors, not having to accept responsibility, and even financial incentives.

Surround Yourself only with people who lift You Higher!

Co-dependent individuals only feel good about themselves a a result of being liked by someone else.  They tend to push aside their own interests and hobbies and spend time on the "other's" interest and hobbies. Fearing anger or rejection determines what is spoken; opinions are kept to oneself. Decision making is an impossible task and most are left to the other person because they choose to not voice any opinion or desire.  If a person has no opinions or wishes then they can never be made to feel wrong by the controlling individual, who's happy to play the dominant role. In essence, codependency is another form of passive aggressiveness. Co-dependents are people-pleasers and sometimes victims or martyrs. Co-dependent individuals are always in survival mode and they hand over their power to others. They focus outside of Self, neglect, and lack trust in their own inner experiences. They live in a swamp of denial. A co-dependent person focuses attention on completely pleasing another while placing ones own personal growth, development, interests, and values aside to please or succumb to anothers agenda.  

Characteristics of healthy dependence & independence are:

1. Is reciprocal and shares.
2. Directly asks for and accepts help and support without manipulation
3. Supportive with clear and flexible boundaries.
4. Real with self and others.
5. Non-abusive, non-exploitative, non-manipulative, and trusting.
6. Prefers relationships with healthy, independent, and dependent people.
7. Appropriate amounts of shared and spontaneous contacts and activities.
8. Free and growth oriented.
9. Includes a Higher Power.

Forming Partnerships
~Commitment~

The goal of relating is interdependence, forming healthy partnerships and alliances with others. Sharing power within a mutually trusting partnership is the goal. The healing process requires commitment, discernment and trusting ourselves by only associating with trustworthy individuals. That requires seeing ourselves, situations, and others clearly thereby changing behavior patterns. Integration, awareness, and personal growth and contentment is the outcome.

If you want to learn more about this topic and others, schedule a phone or e-mail consultation at Fuchsiastars@aol.com. Thank you, and have a wonderful day!

Lorraine Valente
FuchsiaStars@aol.com
http://www.fuchsiastars.com/
http://www.karmicastrology.info/
http://twitter.com/FuchsiaStars
http://FuchsiaStars.blogspot.com/

Reference

Whitfield, C. (1991). Co-dependence: Healing the Human Condition. Deerfield Beach: Florida. Health Communications Inc.

(c) All rights reserved. Permission is required to copy or broadcast electronically any portion of this article, blog or website(s). Thank you.

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☆♥*♥☆Transits, Creativity & Crazymakers ☆♥*♥☆

By Lorraine Valente

Hi Everyone,

Astrologically speaking, we are experiencing a lot of dynamic energy. The cardinal T-square with Mars, Saturn, Pluto, Uranus, Jupiter, and Hades entering Cancer, actually forming a cardinal grand square.  By the end of the week, Venus and the Moon are involved in the geometry chaos, and begs for expression.  The most productive form of self expression is through the creative impulse. Writing, dancing, singing, music, drawing, athletics, energy-work, gardening, and crafting are a few forms of creative outlets that ease the inherent frustration, changes, and tension experienced in the lives of many. I'd like to share some information or guidance in dealing with the cosmic craziness.

Approximately 4 or more years ago, I was involved in an online discussion with a friend who recommended a book entitled “The Artists Way~A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity" by Julia Cameron. The book was quickly ordered on Half.com, an online site where books and other items are greatly discounted. When it arrived through U.S. mail I quickly removed the wrapping, then fanned and skimmed through the pages and chapters as usual when a new book arrives. Because my focus was on the overwhelming amount of coursework for the classes I was enrolled, the book was placed aside in a pile with other books. I looked forward to reading each of them once class ended. When time permitted, I began to read the well organized pages again. Exploring the concept of a creative force within, the artist, creative or inventor’s brain, and also the logical, survival, censor brain, was noted.

"Snipers are people who undermine your efforts to break unhealthy relationship patterns. " ~Jody Hayes

Ms. Cameron details various methods in which individuals block or sabotage creativity by the company we keep, and friends and people we choose to associate with. One such way in which creative individuals block their creativity is to become involved with what she calls “Crazymakers”. After reading this section, I felt a stabbing sensation in the pit of my stomach which screamed a resounding truth. I’ve experienced more than my share of crazymakers in my life and in interpersonal relationships! :-)

Crazymakers, she states, can be found in almost any setting. The crazymaking dynamic is grounded in power and any group of people can function as an energy system to be exploited and drained. Gangs are notorious crazymakers. Alcoholic families are crazymaking pros.  Nuclear families are infamous crazymakers. Politicians are, well, you guessed it.....big time crazymakers. The example she provides is that of the “destructive matriarch who devoted energies to destroying the creativity of her children. Always choosing critical moments for her sabotage, she plants her bombs to explode just as her children approach success” (Cameron, 1992, p. 46).