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Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts

Tuesday, December 23, 2014

☆♥*♥☆Let's Talk About Sex & Eros!☆♥*♥☆



Bouguereau's 1895 "Abduction of Psyche"
Now that I have your undivided attention.... :-)

Asteroid Eros is currently transiting 18 degrees of inventive Aquarius and Mars will be hooking up with Eros very soon!

“Eros has sex for the intimacy and power it brings and for the potential to transform by touching the divine soul of another, at whatever cost”(Falconer, 2004). It is Eros who soars all over the earth, equipped with his bow and arrow, “bewitching” all the arrow strikes. The symbolism is such that erotic love and passion strikes when least expected. The way we respond to these sudden feelings are dependent on temperament and individual evolution. Does life lives become chaotic and unpredictable? Do we become obsessed and possessed by these passions? Eros transits may indicate areas of life where erotic love and passion awaken the senses and possess transformative power.

Martha Lang-Westcott’s Mechanics of the Future~Asteroids, says this of Eros: “Eros represents what turns us on and defines sexual interest. It is the essential element of the survival instinct, and for this reason, it is often prominent in death charts when the “drive to love” is shadowed by transit and/or directions or progressions".

What motivates, empowers or drives a person is where Eros is located in the birth chart.  Eros is the asteroid of eroticism yet may be where we become obsessed, what we are passionate about.  Some question aren't all obsessions/passions unhealthy?  If utilized in a healthful way, passion propels to strive for what's fulfilling.  Without an "obsession" or passionate focus to succeed, doctors would never practice medicine, lawyers would not pass the Bar Exam to practice law, painters could not create, and poets would not write. It takes a certain amount of angst, perseverance, and passionate focus to succeed in any area of life. Where Eros is located in the natal is where we are passionately attached; where passions emanate.  

Eros is a symbol of both erotic and sexual love yet we must remember what the underlying dynamic of erotic love is the creative impulse. We can transmute sexual desires into works of art (Van Gogh), inventions or writings.  Eros is a state of mind.   House location in the chart is where we are most passionate; what we are passionate about. This may be a hobby or interest that brings success because we tend to place focus on our Eros.

Do you know where Asteroid Eros is located in your birth chart? In synastry; chart compatibility, if your Eros is conjunct or opposite your partners, Moon, Venus, Mars, Jupiter, Neptune, Uranus, Pluto or their Name asteroid (yes, there is likely  an asteroid named after yourself!) this will prove another indication of erotic/sexual attraction/love.

When Eros is conjunct (in the same degree) Psyche, you have likely found your Soul Mate as Eros and Psyche were mythical ancient Lovers. According to Guttman and Johnson (1996), this is a story of love (Eros) in search of a soul (Psyche) and a soul in search of love. This myth is highly symbolic of marriage even in these contemporary times. With starry eyes we find our mates. After awhile we dare to look and see them as they really are; disillusionment sets in. Whether the separation is emotional or physical, it somehow occurs. The partnership goes through tests, trials, and challenges and thus discovers how strong the bond or union actually is. If strong, it survives these challenges, and becomes better and stronger than ever. Like Eros and Psyche at the end of their story, we are happily reunited as equals in the mating game (Guttman & Johnson, 1996). Soul Mate relationships often bring tests and lessons in relating.

With Uranus direct, expect the unexpected!!

Enjoy your day and if you would like to learn more about this topic scedule a phone or e-mail consultation.

Lorraine Valente
FuchsiaStars@aol.com
www.FuchsiaStars.com
www.KarmicAstrology.info
http://twitter.com/FuchsiaStars
http://FuchsiaStars.blogspot.com/

(c) All rights reserved. Permission is required to copy any portion of this of this blog and must be pointed back to its original.  Thank you.

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

☆♥*♥☆ Juno~Marriage Goddess☆♥*♥☆




Keywords: Devotion, Fidelity, Infidelity, Marriage, Patriarchy, Children, Betrayal, Steadfast, Loyalty, Relationship, Revenge, Rivals, Commitment, Jealousy, Legal Contracts, Responsibility, Obligations, Structure, Restrictions, Chastity, Obsessions, Soul Mate, Reciprocity, Compromise.
Juno is the goddess of marriage and was known for her fidelity and loyalty to her husband Zeus/Jupiter. Her color is lavendar or lilac. The 6th month of June was sacred to her and traditionally many marriages take place during the month of June. Juno symbolizes the principle of relationship and like the sign of Libra, our most intimate partnerships. She symbolises the principle of relatedness and commitment to another over time. She also signifies the consummation of marriage and is also linked to the sign of Scorpio. Children and their rights are linked to Juno in the horoscope.
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Research conducted by The Magi Society suggest that Juno may, astrologically, relate to addictions in the natal. However, the primary reason for this concept is that Juno "obsessed" over and withheld emotions relating to betrayal in her marriage.  She didn't direct those emotions at Jupiter but on the females she caught with her husband! In this regard, Juno was fearful of confronting her husband and, instead, acted out. In her jealousy, she obsessed over her husband’s extra marital affairs. The obsessive qualities of Juno may prevail when linked with Neptune as far as addictions go. I have personally not linked Juno to addictions.  Juno is symbolic of a focused, loyal, commitment dynamic. To the best of my personal research, Neptune (denial) points towards many addictions.  Remember, addiction is twofold:  There is the thought/mind (obsession) and the behavior/body (compulsion) connection.
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Juno in the horoscope may also point to a “Soul Mate" partner and is often an indicator of compatibility between two birth charts. Juno yearns for a deeply committed, mystical, and sexually fulfilling relationship. Unfortunately many of Juno’s expectations in marriage to Jupiter were not fulfilled or realized. Jupiter betrayed Juno by maintaining  numerous affairs while holding her loyal to him in her sexual chastity.  He simply felt it his right and privilege to wander around. Since her relationship needs were not met, Juno subsequently experienced a variety of complexes as a result of withholding emotional pain, which included jealousy, abandonment, sacrifice, playing victim, giving away power, manipulation, patterns of oppression, possessiveness, and anger to name a few.

Juno wanted a relationship that was fair and reciprocal. However, what she experienced with Jupiter were power struggles, infidelity, oppression, disappointments and conflicts when she was faced with the reality of her marriage for what it really was. Understanding Juno's meaning by today's relationship standards is quite different. Maintaining one monogamous relationship our entire life is no longer the norm, nor is it practical. Individuals live so much longer and are more spiritually aware and growth oriented. Women entering the workforce and working side-by side with male counterparts has changed not only the work dynamic but the family at home dynamic.  Men, who once longed for their home life, looking forward to the female presence after a long hard day at the office, now have many of those emotional needs met at work.  Men and women not only offer comfort and attention to each other in the workplace, they are also traveling together on business trips.  In a sense, and the women out there will hate me for the comment, women entering the workforce was the beginning of the breakdown of traditional family life, for better or worse.
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Regardless of the reasons, it is more commonplace for people to engage in serial monogamy where people have 3 or 4 long-term partners or even marriages during their lives. Humans are not naturally monogamous, although individuals with planets in some signs and aspects may tend towards the desire for monogamy. It is a choice some people make for themselves and their relationship. That choice is one of maintaining intimacy, security, and stability within an existing partnership. Let’s face it, the more distractions or people you bring into a marriage the greater likelihood for that marriage or relationship to break down over time anyway. Those distractions may include involving too many friends and family members who may harbor resentment and jealously and attempt to sabotage, consciously or unconsciously, an enviable, intact relationship.  The high incidence of infidelity taking place within the workplace is a testament of this. Fear of commitment or being truly “intimate” with a partner may also cause one or both to seek excitement outside of the marriage. The anonymity of Internet affairs come to mind.

Men don’t respect us when we allow them to be selfish. They want us to call them on it, but nicely, so they can grow and be happier with themselves and with us in a relationship.” ~Dr. John Gottman

Perhaps Juno's expectations in her marriage to Jupiter/Zeus were unrealistic.  She assumed that in marriage she would be Jupiter’s only sexual partner. When she discovered this was not the case, she remained steadfast and faithful to him regardless of his unfaithfulness! This was a choice. Her faithfulness was one of Juno’s finest attributes. She stood by her man, no matter what. However, her anger was directed to "the other women" even though it was Jupiter/Zeus who usually seduced them. The unfortunate part of this was that Juno internalized her unhappiness and sadness. The sexual boundaries in their marriage were betrayed. When hurt and pain are internalized and feelings are unfulfilled, a variety of pathologies may result i.e.: resentment, regret, bitterness then depression. She might have asked herself some questions: How much must you sacrifice, compromise or accept to be in this marriage or any relationship? When does being overly "tolerant" and denying personal needs betray the "Self" and what is valued? Is your compromise appreciated?
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Astrologically, Juno may also signify the lack of acknowledgment received from a partner and emerging resentment when needs are not met. It also indicates certain obligations and responsibilities that are willingly attended to. Juno also provides structure to the house to which it resides.

When a vow of marriage is taken, many people are of the belief that their spouse automatically takes a vow of fidelity. How many people ask their partner, beforehand, if they desire only one sexual partner during marriage and, more importantly, can they be monogamous? Given the high incidence of “affairs” in our society, individuals need to discuss issues of fidelity “before” they legally tie the knot, don’t you agree? It is mostly assumed if you have a legal contract, a marriage certificate, it implies fidelity and that marriage equals a monogamous relationship. In actuality, it only implies financially legal contract. Actually, the vows of marriage state nothing remotely insinuating fidelity.
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A patriarchal society assumes, then imposes, monogamy and restricts the basic, inherent instinct to sex and procreate, at will. Monogamy, celibacy, and fidelity are choices. It should never be assumed or taken for granted. It is human nature, and a basic right to change one's mind about it. A problem arises when one of two partners changes his/her mind then doesn't remember to inform the other.  Astrologer Jeffrey Green comments on this and states that the concept of monogamy, one sexual partner for life, exists because men wanted to own and possess their partners. The beginning of patriarchy has its roots in the knowledge that men have an “interest” in and contributed to the conception of children; this was the beginning of patriarchy. Their partners were automatically considered property to own. When women marry they suddenly become Mrs. “His last name”.
However, fast forward to 2011, many women are choosing to not conceive children or have decided to adopt instead. What of the divorced baby boomers who have remarried 2 or 3 times who chose to not conceive children? What about Generation's X and Y who are either cohabiting or marrying later and may never conceive children?  Men and women are choosing to marry later in life if at all. These are some of the many issues tied Juno symbolism.

The house in which Juno resides in your birth chart points to where you are most committed or obsessed. For instance, Juno in the 10th house might show a person most committed to work and their profession. It might also say that having a “wife” or “husband” and having the identity of being “married” is important to the career. Juno conjunct (close in degree) the Sun would manifest similarly and might also say “I don’t exist without a partner” or “I need a committed partner or I am committed to partnering”. My own Juno resides in house 9 in the sign of Leo, the house of higher learning, beliefs, spirituality, philosophies, and long distance travel. On more than one occasion I've been in a relationship with someone from another country, ethnicity, a significant age difference, or a partner who traveled to another country for employment. I'm committed to sharing philosophies of life and spirituality (9th house) with a partner. In the sign of Leo, I tend to attract an individual with Sun, Moon or Ascendant in Fire signs (Aries, Leo, Sagittarius) or an assertive, fun-loving, youthful personality. Juno in Leo in the 9th house symbolizes the need for a loyal and devoted partner, one to feel proud of (Leo) who may also be a mentor or paternal figure, or a desire for him to fill this role. Juno is Leo seeks equality and once this Juno sets theier sights ona person, they seldom change their minds. Because my Juno in 9 forms an exact trine to Saturn, I want a committed relationship, so married or legally unavailable men need not apply! :-)

Today, the placement of Juno may also symbolize the area of life where it serves you best to be open to change and balance in your relationship. If Juno lived today, perhaps she would have divorced Jupiter or maintained an open marriage (what's works for you, works for me too!). Perhaps she would not have accepted the back seat in marriage. Women today want equal say in their relationships and don’t necessarily see it their duty to stay and protect the home life, particularly if children aren't involved, if it means betraying their sense of Self.  Couples have many choices today, thankfully.  "To Thine Own Self Be True".

Juno is currently transiting the 25th degree of Libra with Mercury, trining Neptune.  How are you experiencing Juno in your own chart?  The transit through Venus-ruled Libra?  Share your post with us!
If you want to learn more about this topic and others, schedule a phone, Skype or e-mail consultation at Fuchsiastars@aol.com. This blog is linked through Networked Blogs and may also be received directly to your Facebook page.

Thank you, and have a wonderful day! *
Partially Reprinted from FuchsiaStars LunarNotes 2002-2010, edited 2011.

Lorraine Valente
FuchsiaStars@aol.com 
www.FuchsiaStars.com 
www.KarmicAstrology.info 
http://energyhealing4u.webs.com/
http://twitter.com/FuchsiaStars
http://FuchsiaStars.blogspot.com/

© All rights reserved. Opinions and interpretation/analysis expressed are the sole intellectual property of Lorraine Valente and FuchsiaStars® Guidance. Permission is required to copy, emulate, or electronically broadcast any portion of this article, blog, or website(s). Copyright, credits, and above information must be included in all copying and forwarding in its entirety pointing back to this blog. FuchsiaStars® interpretations are for research and entertainment purposes only.

Thursday, February 24, 2011

☆♥*♥☆Pisces/Virgo Relationships☆♥*♥☆

by Lorraine Valente


The Pisces/Virgo ~Ascendant/Descendant
Relationship Axis (1st house/7th house)

Knowing your partners 7th house cusp (the relationship house) and the ruler of that house will indicate the type of partner you may attract or are attracted to and the method of relating within a relationship.

The Ascendant, or Rising sign, is the sign rising on the horizon at the time of birth. This is the face we show the world, the “mask” behind which the Sun hides. This is the outer personality, temperament and disposition as well as how the early early home life was experienced and the environment  we grew up in. It is the way others see us and also indicates the physical appearance. The ruler of the Ascendant and the aspects (connections to other planets in your birth chart) further delineate and define physical appearance.

The Descendant, or 7th house cusp, its ruler and the aspects it makes in your birth chart, is symbolic of the type of partner you are attracted to. The 7th house is the house of all partnerships including marriage and legal contracts yet also considered the house of open enemies or the Defendant in a law suit.

Whatever we do not own in ourselves we tend to attract the negative qualities or shadow through the 7th house. In relationships, Pisces♓ has Neptune as the modern ruler and with benefic Jupiter as the ancient ruler. If you have a Pisces Ascendant, you appear mercurial and may have a naïve disposition. You may be more spiritual than most. Because you are a mutable sign, although you are flexible indecisiveness if possible. Physical appearance is soft and gentle. Artistic expression is a must and you have an active fantasy life. Because you're  a mutable sign, there are moments of ambivalence, indecisiveness and ever changing your mind. Worry, self deception and denial is possible. Pisces rising folks tend to have sensual lips and very large, soft eyes.With Mercury☿ ruled Virgo♍ on the Descendant you seek a methodical, practical, articulate partner. Mutual sharing and communication within any partnership is absolutely critical to you. You desire intelligence and refinement in a partner. Attraction to a partner with those qualities who is organized and analytical as well as being health conscious is possible.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

☆♥*♥☆Predicting Marital Satisfaction☆♥*♥☆

by Lorraine Valente

Infidelity is on the rise and is, according to statistics, becoming more common among people under age 30. Many experts believe this increase in cheating is due to greater opportunity (time spent away from a partner) and young people developing the habit of having multiple sexual partners before they marry (Wall Street Journal). Between 1991 and 2006, the numbers of unfaithful wives under 30 increased by 20% and husbands by a whopping 45%. These numbers come from a study conducted by David Atkins of the University of Washington Center for the Study of Health and Risk Behaviors.

As astrologers, we're aware that between the ages of 29-30 (In some instances 28), we experience the Saturn return.  It takes approximately 29 plus years for transiting Saturn to move 360 degrees around the chart to form a conjunction with natal Saturn. In my experience, with today's values and transitory career options, individuals who marry before the Saturn return tend to choose a partner based upon a family of origin imprints and expectations.  There is less likelihood of marrying an individual mom or dad opposes, for whatever reason.  It could be that your selection doesn't meet their religious, socioeconomic status, age or career aspirations. When a person marries or chooses a partner after the Saturn return, they are more likely to choose a partner who meets their own image of who's right for them paying less attention to parental value imprints, that may or may not work for them.  After the Saturn return, individuals, males and females, better know what they want, what makes them happy, have completed some or all of their formal education, and have secured employment. In speaking with individuals who tied the knot before the Saturn return and are still together after it, concur 90% of the time.

The above statistics aren't surprising when discussing the under 30 population. Since younger generations are living at home and staying in school longer, they're also taking time to experiment with partners before settling down, and it makes sense to do so.  We learn how to be intimate with others, initially, through parental mirroring, then through trial and error experimentation.  When an individual knows what soothes their soul, makes them happy, they are better able to seek and recognize those desired qualities during partner selection, ideally, after the Saturn return.

Jeffry H. Larson, professor and chairman of the Family and Marriage Therapy Program at Brigham Young University, has developed what he calls "The Marriage Triangle," which highlights individual and couple traits and the family background and context that can help or hinder a current or future relationship. 

First, are the unhealthy factors that predict marital dissatisfaction. These are the three sides of the triangle:

Individual traits


1. High neurotic traits.
2. Anxiety.
3. Depression.
4. Impulsiveness.
5. Self-consciousness.
6. Vulnerability to stress.
7. Anger/hostility.
8. Dysfunctional beliefs. (If you enter marriage convinced that you live on different planets, or that you'll never understand each other, he says, you probably won't.)


Couple traits


1. Dissimilarity.
2. Short acquaintanceship.
3. Premarital sex (especially a lot of experience with many different partners).
4. Premarital pregnancy.
5. Cohabitation.
6. Poor communication and conflict-resolution skills.

Context



1. Younger age.

2. Unhealthy family-of-origin experiences.

3. Parental divorce or chronic marital conflict.
4. Parental or friends' disapproval.
5. Pressure to marry.
6. Little education or career preparation.

He's also developed a list of healthy characteristics, and the leading factors that predict marital satisfaction:


Individual traits


1. High self-esteem.
2. Flexibility.
3. Assertiveness.
4. Sociability.

Couple traits

1. Similarity.
2. Long acquaintanceship.
3. Good communication skills.
4. Good conflict resolution skills/style.


Context

1. Older age.
2. Healthy family-of-origin experiences.
3. Happy parental marriage.
4. Parental and friends' approval.
5. Significant education and career preparation.

He further states that if he had to choose one trait that would help the most in building a relationship it would be flexibility. That one thing can take care of a lot of potential problems. When two people come together wanting peace and to give to the other, it's a win-win situation.  When the mutual goal of a relationship is partnership, harmony and conciliation, happiness is inevitable.  The choice is yours.

If you want to learn more about this topic and others, schedule a phone, Skype, or e-mail consultation at Fuchsiastars@aol.comThank you, and have a wonderful day!

Lorraine Valente
FuchsiaStars@aol.com
http://www.fuchsiastars.com/
http://www.karmicastrology.info/
http://twitter.com/FuchsiaStars
http://FuchsiaStars.blogspot.com/

Reference

Smart Marriages Archive, reproduced in the [Electronic version] of Divorce Statistics Collection.

(c) All rights reserved. Permission is required to copy, emulate, or electronically broadcast any portion of this article, blog, or website(s). Thank you.

Saturday, September 25, 2010

☆♥*♥☆Female Sexuality & Relationships☆♥*♥☆

by Lorraine Valente

What better timing then to discuss sexuality with the planets of love attraction and sexual desires both in the sign of Scorpio! As a currently single female who has studied sexuality and the female condition, it must be noted that there is "still" a double standard when discussing and expressing sexual desire. "Some" women are remiss, fearful or conditioned to limit their response, learned in childhood and reinforced by society. We're supposed to be "good" girls and not like sex too much, only when our partners want us, so then a man will marry us. A woman who enjoys sex, is in touch with her sexuality and is able to express those desires, is considered aggressive, too intense, oversexed or a whore. Let's remember that many men still suffer from the Madonna/Whore Complex, meaning: Men are loathe to marry the sexually experienced woman. It's too much of an ego blow, even though they claim to desire a woman who enjoys sex yet moan all throughout their relationships/marriage about not "getting" enough. Instead, a married man (or a single one) takes a woman "on the side" to experiment with and reveals his true sexual nature with that individual.

Women may be more secretive about their desires as a result of societal conditioning. This is perpetuated, then reinforced, during adolescence, the dating process, and in marriage further reinforced by the "male perspective" and male response. However, many women of all ages love sex (with an encouraging partner). Men tend to condition (read control) the female response to it by their own expectations of who a "good" woman is (it's no wonder women eventually repress their desires or look elsewhere). It should also be noted that women are, instead, relating to younger, open-minded, and sexually accepting males.
This may be a contributing factor in recent statistics confirming that more than 51 % of all married women have cheated on their husbands at least once. The1st time in history, statistics lean towards the female, and frankly, this doesn't surprise me. The statistics are probably higher because women are conditioned towards "silencing" their desires as well as discussing it openly fearing a label and ostracism. Yet this is changing, albeit slowly. Younger generations of females and males are sexually experimental, choosing to maintain "open" relationships. No longer requiring the sole financial support of men, women now choose partners who satisfy them sexually and emotionally. Those partners may be equal to or several years younger, rather than choose the stereotypical, financially secure, older man. Men are finally experiencing a glimpse of what is feels like when a woman chooses to act on her desires, the same way "privileged" men have been behaving for generations; they've taught women well.

If you want to learn more about this topic and others, schedule a phone or e-mail consultation at Fuchsiastars@aol.com

Thank you, and have a wonderful day!


Lorraine Valente
FuchsiaStars@aol.com
www.FuchsiaStars.com 
www.KarmicAstrology.info
http://twitter.com/FuchsiaStars
http://FuchsiaStars.blogspot.com/

(c) All rights reserved. Permission is required to copy, emulate, or electronically broadcast any portion of this article, blog, or website(s). Thank you.

Sunday, September 19, 2010

☆♥*♥☆ Co-dependence~Relationships ☆♥*♥☆

by Lorraine Valente

We're quickly approaching the entrance of the Sun into Libra, at the same time both Mars and Venus are in passionate Scorpio. Libra is the sign most associated with relationships and Venus is Libra's ruler and she is transiting a sign (Scorpio) ruled by fiery Mars also in the sign of powerful Scorpio. Libra's often have difficulty selecting a partner because they seek an ideal of how relationships should be that doesn't often match reality. Disillusionment sets in as a result of unrealistic expectations causing an inability to fully commit. Alternately, when actually in a committed relationship, Libra may exhibit one or many co-dependent traits.

What is co-dependence? 

It may be stated that co-dependence is a form of conformity, to another's wishes. It appears consistent within family dynamics in which addiction or emotional abuse occurs in one or more family members. Co-dependence is a dysfunctional process and learned set of behaviors associated with either living with or choosing to be in close proximity to any dysfunctional individual.

Co-dependence is a major manifestation of the adult child syndrome; a child having grown up in a troubled, unhealthy, or dysfunctional family where family members are completely enmeshed in each other's lives. Being enmeshed allows the controlling and more dominant individual complete control over the codependent one. Being in love, in this instance, means being in control. According to Charles Whitfield (1991), co-dependence is characterized by 12 character traits.
  1. It is  learned and acquired.
  2. It is developmental; a failure to develop, arrested development.
  3. It's outer focused.
  4. It's a disease of lost self hood.
  5. It has personal boundary distortions.
  6. It is a "feeling" disorder manifested by low self-esteem, fear, shame, anger, confusion, and numbness.
  7. It produces unhealthy dependence on others by not trusting, withholding, manipulating, exploitative, and controlling.
  8. Relationship difficulties with self and others.
  9. It's primary.
  10. It's chronic and progressive,
  11. It is malignant and treatable.
  12. Excludes a Higher Power.
Characteristics of co-dependency are as follows:

Co-dependent individuals are likely to hook up with a Narcissistic partner who runs the show for both of them. This attachment style is likely to have been learned from behaviors mirrored to the child via the family of origin. The dominant individual manipulates the other to keep him/her attached to the relationship. This dynamic is prevalent in incidences of domestic violence, where the passive, co-dependent individual becomes an emotional punching bag playing peace-maker to ward off the abuser. However, the passive individual, consciously or unconsciously, instigates a reaction so the cycle continues and they maintain their victim status. There's a huge payoff for the victim; attention, concern, favors, not having to accept responsibility, and even financial incentives.

Surround Yourself only with people who lift You Higher!
Co-dependent individuals only feel good about themselves a a result of being liked by someone else.  They tend to push aside their own interests and hobbies and spend time on the "other's" interest and hobbies. Fearing anger or rejection determines what is spoken; opinions are kept to oneself. Decision making is an impossible task and most are left to the other person because they choose to not voice any opinion or desire.  If a person has no opinions or wishes then they can never be made to feel wrong by the controlling individual, who's happy to play the dominant role. In essence, codependency is another form of passive aggressiveness. Co-dependents are people-pleasers and sometimes victims or martyrs. Co-dependent individuals are always in survival mode and they hand over their power to others. They focus outside of Self, neglect, and lack trust in their own inner experiences. They live in a swamp of denial. A co-dependent person focuses attention on completely pleasing another while placing ones own personal growth, development, interests, and values aside to please or succumb to anothers agenda.  

Characteristics of healthy dependence & independence are:

  1. Is reciprocal and shares.
  2. Directly asks for and accepts help and support without manipulation
  3. Supportive with clear and flexible boundaries.
  4. Real with self and others.
  5. Non-abusive, non-exploitative, non-manipulative, and trusting.
  6. Prefers relationships with healthy, independent, and dependent people.
  7. Appropriate amounts of shared and spontaneous contacts and activities.
  8. Free and growth oriented.
  9. Includes a Higher Power.
Forming Partnerships
~Commitment~
The goal of relating is interdependence, forming healthy partnerships and alliances with others. Sharing power within a mutually trusting partnership is the goal. The healing process requires commitment, discernment and trusting ourselves by only associating with trustworthy individuals. That requires seeing ourselves, situations, and others clearly thereby changing behavior patterns. Integration, awareness, and personal growth and contentment is the outcome.

If you want to learn more about this topic and others, schedule a phone or e-mail consultation at Fuchsiastars@aol.com. Thank you, and have a wonderful day!

Lorraine Valente
FuchsiaStars@aol.com
http://www.fuchsiastars.com/
http://www.karmicastrology.info/
http://twitter.com/FuchsiaStars
http://FuchsiaStars.blogspot.com/

Reference

Whitfield, C. (1991). Co-dependence: Healing the Human Condition. Deerfield Beach: Florida. Health Communications Inc.

(c) All rights reserved. Permission is required to copy or broadcast electronically any portion of this article, blog or website(s). Thank you.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

☆♥*♥☆ Juno~Relating~The Wife ☆♥*♥☆

by Lorraine Valente

Keywords: Devotion, Fidelity, Infidelity, Marriage, Patriarchy, Children, Betrayal, Steadfast, Loyalty, Relationship, Revenge, Rivals, Commitment, Jealousy, Legal Contracts, Responsibility, Obligations, Structure, Restrictions, Chastity, Obsessions, Soul Mate, Reciprocity, Compromise.

Juno~Marriage Goddess
Juno is the goddess of marriage and was known for her fidelity and loyalty to her husband Zeus/Jupiter. Her color is lavendar or lilac. The 6th month of June was sacred to her and traditionally many marriages take place during the month of June. Juno symbolizes the principle of relationship and like the sign of Libra, our most intimate partnerships. She symbolises the principle of relatedness and commitment to another over time. She also signifies the consummation of marriage and is also linked to the sign of Scorpio. Children and their rights are linked to Juno in the horoscope.

Research conducted by The Magi Society indicates how Juno may, astrologically, relate to addictions in the chart. However, the primary reason for this concept is that Juno "obsessed" over and withheld emotions relating to betrayal.  She didn't direct those emotions at Jupiter but on the females she caught with her husband! In this regard, Juno was fearful of confronting her husband and, instead, acted out. She felt jealous and then obsessed over her husband’s extra marital affairs. The obsessive qualities of Juno may prevail when linked with Neptune as far as addictions go. I’ve not done much personal research on Juno as she relates to addictions, yet see her more as a focused, loyal, commitment dynamic. To the best of my personal research, Neptune points towards most addictions.  Remember, addiction is twofold:  There is the thought/mind (obsession) and the behavior/body (compulsion) connection.

Click here for more on: Juno Mythology

Juno in the horoscope may point to a “Soul Mate" partner and is often an indicator of compatibility between two birth charts. Juno yearns for a deeply committed, mystical, and sexually fulfilling relationship. Unfortunately many of Juno’s expectations in marriage to Jupiter were not fulfilled or realized. Jupiter betrayed Juno by having numerous affairs while holding her loyal to him in her sexual chastity.  He simply felt it his right and privilege to wander around. Since her relationship needs were not met, Juno subsequently experienced a variety of complexes as a result of holding in emotional pain, which included jealousy, abandonment issues, sacrifice, playing victim, giving away power, manipulation, patterns of oppression, possessiveness, and anger to name a few.

Juno wanted a relationship that was fair and reciprocal. However, what she experienced with Jupiter were power struggles, infidelity, oppression, disappointments and conflicts when she was faced with the reality of her marriage for what it really was. Bringing the symbol of Juno in our relationship today is quite different. Having one monogamous relationship our entire life is no longer the norm, nor is it practical. Individuals live so much longer and are more spiritually aware and growth oriented. It is more common for people to engage in serial monogamy where people have 3 or 4 long-term partners or even marriages during their lives. Humans are not naturally monogamous, although planets in some signs may be prone towards the desire for monogamy. It is a choice some people make for themselves and their relationship. That choice is one of maintaining intimacy, security, and stability within an existing partnership. Let’s face it, the more distractions or people you bring into a marriage the greater likelihood for that marriage or relationship to break down over time anyway. Those distractions may include involving too many friends and family members who may harbor resentment and jealously and attempt to sabotage, consciously or unconsciously, a relationship.  The high incidence of infidelity taking place within the workplace is a testament of this. Fear of commitment or being truly “intimate” with a partner may also cause one or both to seek excitement outside of the marriage. Cyber affairs come to mind.

Men don’t respect us when we allow them to be selfish. They want us to call them on it, but nicely, so they can grow and be happier with themselves and with us in a relationship.”
~Dr. John Gottman

Perhaps Juno's expectations in her marriage to Jupiter/Zeus were unrealistic.  She assumed that in marriage she would be Jupiter’s only sexual partner. When she discovered this was not the case, she remained steadfast and faithful to him regardless of his unfaithfulness! This was a choice. Her faithfulness was one of Juno’s finest attributes. She stood by her man, no matter what. However, some of her anger was vented to "the other women" even though it was Jupiter/Zeus who usually seduced them. The unfortunate part of this was that her unhappiness and sadness was internalized. The sexual boundaries in their marriage were betrayed. When hurt and pain are internalized and feelings are unfulfilled, a variety of pathologies can result i.e.: resentment, regret, bitterness then depression. She might have asked herself some questions: How much must you sacrifice, compromise or accept to be in this marriage or any relationship? When does being overly "tolerant" and denying personal needs betray the "Self" and what is valued? Is your compromise appreciated?

Astrologically, Juno may also signify the lack of acknowledgment received from a partner and the emerging resentment when needs are not met. It also indicates certain obligations and responsibilities that are willingly attended to. Juno also provides structure to the house to which it resides.

Monday, August 23, 2010

☆♥*♥☆Virgo/Pisces Relationship Axis☆♥*♥☆

by Lorraine Valente

Virgo/Pisces~Ascendant/Descendant Relationship Axis (1st house/7th house)

The Ascendant or Rising sign is the sign rising on the horizon at the time of birth. This is the face we show the world, our “mask” for which the Sun hides. This is our outer personality, temperament and disposition as well as our early environment growing up. It is the way others see us and also indicates our physical appearance. The planetary ruler of the Ascendant, and the aspects (connections to other planets in your birth chart) further define physical appearance.

The Descendant, or 7th house cusp, its planetary ruler, and the connections it makes to other planets in the birth chart, is symbolic of the type of partner you're attracted to. The 7th house is the house of all partnerships including marriage and legal contracts yet also considered the house of open enemies or the Defendant in a law suit.


For example, Virgo rising projects a cerebral, taciturn self image. There is the aura of proper etiquette; Virgo is usually reserved.  Perfection-seeking is Virgo's domain. Cleanliness is important.

Sexually speaking, the Virgin may alternate between the victim/savior, dominant/submissive dynamic.  Virgo's perfection-seeking lends to experimenting with bisexuality, homosexuality, or even remaining sexually chaste.

With Pisces on the Descendant, you're attracted to a partner who is illusive in some way. He or she can be an alcoholic, a drug user, chronic liar, or and artist who lives in a dream world. In love, this placement would require one to be of service to the other. Often, Virgo risings  attract a first partner who isn't good for them. Virgo is prone to martyr-like tendencies and projects the need to “save” the partner from themselves. Love relationships are a struggle when one is required to care for another or become involved with someone they want to "rescue" or "be" rescued. Whatever we do not own and acknowledge in ourselves (Ascendant) we attract externally (Descendant) to mirror our desires and teach us necessary lessons in relating.

Knowing your partners 7th house cusp (the relationship house) and the ruler of that house, indicates the type of partner you may attract or are attracted to, in addition to how you relate within a relationship. Alternately, if the ruler of your 7th house in your partners chart is heavily aspected in their chart, those energies will be brought into the relationship.

The date, time and place of birth is important in making the determination of the Ascendant or Rising sign, which sets up the house cusps dividing houses or areas of life.

Enjoy your day and remember, I'm available for consultations and readings 7 days via phone, e-mail or in-person.

Lorraine Valente
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